Why don't you kill yourself?

[Kurono.]

yN7wLtJhUBo&feature=related

inb4lock

[DaRk ArMeD]

Cuz I'm watching mad tv and Bobby lee is doing his uh oh hotdog routine

[Whatah]

good movie

[Toxic`]

Rofl, the look on his face was priceless.

[Red]

good movie

Yeah, I got Kurono to take a look at it. I've been telling him he should stream it some time.

[Rich]

^ yes

[Kurono.]

good movie

Yeah, I just finished. I really liked it, and honestly, I think some of the more extremest religious people of our forums should watch it when I stream it tomorrow night.

[Crad]

He has a good point.

[KING OF NIGERIA]

Suicide isn't funny, guys.

[Eureka -]

Christianity speaking...

The reason we do not kill ourselves just to go to a "better place" as the put it, is because killing ourselves to find passage to heaven defies the point of being put on the Earth in the first place. This life is a test to prove our worthiness to God.

Just saying, this video has a point, but only to the extent that some Christians don't know their religion. That's it.

[Danny]

Apparently only 1/3 christians have read the bible. I reckon there should be a mandate for them to read it; then there'd be 2/3 less christians.

[Kurono.]

Christianity speaking...

The reason we do not kill ourselves just to go to a "better place" as the put it, is because killing ourselves to find passage to heaven defies the point of being put on the Earth in the first place. This life is a test to prove our worthiness to God.

Just saying, this video has a point, but only to the extent that some Christians don't know their religion. That's it.

Why would he test someone to see if they deserved to be in his presence? That's like saying you're going to test your wife to see if she should be able to sleep in the same bed as you.

[Miley Syrus +]

Why would he test someone to see if they deserved to be in his presence? That's like saying you're going to test your wife to see if she should be able to sleep in the same bed as you.

Those analogy's don't go together.

[Jun Tao]

-.-

[Whatah]

i just watched "the invention of lying" last night, good movie highly recommended.

[Bowserkills7]

i just watched "the invention of lying" last night, good movie highly recommended.

Random quote is random.

But yeah, this is true. Although killing yourself is a sin in Christianity or w/e. Everythings a sin.
Seriously. If I was in charge of the catholic nation I would make breathing a sin. This way they would either die or the priests would have a lot or repenting to do.

Hate religion. >,<

[Eureka -]

Why would he test someone to see if they deserved to be in his presence? That's like saying you're going to test your wife to see if she should be able to sleep in the same bed as you.
Except your not omniscient.

And your wife makes sammiches.

[Red]

Christianity speaking...

The reason we do not kill ourselves just to go to a "better place" as the put it, is because killing ourselves to find passage to heaven defies the point of being put on the Earth in the first place. This life is a test to prove our worthiness to God.

Just saying, this video has a point, but only to the extent that some Christians don't know their religion. That's it.

You should watch the movie with us later tonight.


-.-

Spam.

[Danny]

That guy is clearly not the best guy to defend the christian point of view. Nor is Bill Maher the best person to put forward the athiest point of view.

It's unfortunate for christians that there's very few people who could actually defend christianity, politely and intelligently.

[Blackwingggys]

V_V this is boring

[Eureka -]

That guy is clearly not the best guy to defend the christian point of view. Nor is Bill Maher the best person to put forward the athiest point of view.

It's unfortunate for christians that there's very few people who could actually defend christianity, politely and intelligently.
/agree

I believe vent rules clearly state 'No flaming, racism, RELIGION, stupid thread/posts.'

[Red]

It's unfortunate for christians that there's very few people who could actually defend christianity, politely and intelligently.

I wonder why that is...?

[Danny]

I wonder why that is...?

God is self-hating.

[Eureka -]

@VK Because the majority of the USA's population is pretty retarded.

[Red]

/agree

I believe vent rules clearly state 'No flaming, racism, RELIGION, stupid thread/posts.'

It also says no stupid thread/posts, but I see plenty of those.

So one religious thread is worse than all of the spam?

[Eureka -]

Yes. It is as a matter of fact.

[SoulJack]

"Why would he test someone to see if they deserved to be in his presence? That's like saying you're going to test your wife to see if she should be able to sleep in the same bed as you."

Why do a lot of people for some reason want to always try to bring christianity down. or make it sound bad.

"If gods so good why does he let little children in africa who have done nothing to make him angry die of starvation.?" Someone in school said this.

Well here's my guess cause god is gonna bring them to heaven with him so they can live in a better place with a giant mansion and all the food they can eat. Either he murders the child which I'm sure the parents would hate for there child to go that way. Or let the kid go as peacefully as he can be.

"I'd rather die than go to heaven" comment from that 'Why don't you kill yourself' video.

Really? alot of people have been saying this... If heaven is real and you get to go to heaven wouldn't you wanna want to go? A great house, Every ones beautiful, there is no hate, you can never get fat, have everything you want, never get hurt and much more. most people try to argue with me when I say this to them with the old "what if there is no heaven" well then there's no heaven. But why roll the dice and there is a heaven but because you would rather die then go to heaven you'll end up in burning for eternity.

Really?

ok there is a god or there isn't. But you should be setting a good example for christianity. A lot of very successful people where christians. You know why? cause the bible kept there mind and heart in place. Kept them positive, the bible is sort of a guide to success in life. When I have a children I want him to be a good christian boy. I'm not gonna force it on him, but I will tell him that by following this books advice you could be and do anything you want cause it will keep you positive, happy, and virtueous.

Another example of why we should treat christianity good is because of the spritual healing it can give. There have been documented cases of people with cancer and all kind of things who with the help of the bible were able to keep a positive mind cause they knew god would help them be better. And it has work, now don't say "well what about the people who weren't healed?" Well good point. But it says god has a plan for everyone so sooner or later it'll work out, either it's them dieing and ending up in heaven, or that person would be an example of his/her disease or whatever, IDK.
But what I'm saying is that even if you don't believe in god don't try to bring down a religoun that try's to help people and keep them from evil things and helps them meet there goals in life. It just makes me very mad when people do that.

[Flame Champion]

"If gods so good why does he let little children in africa who have done nothing to make him angry die of starvation.?" Someone in school said this.

Well here's my guess cause god is gonna bring them to heaven with him so they can live in a better place with a giant mansion and all the food they can eat. Either he murders the child which I'm sure the parents would hate for there child to go that way. Or let the kid go as peacefully as he can be.

I don't know how long you've ever gone without eating, but dying of starvation and malnutrition over an extended period of time is hardly what I would call dying "peacefully".

just saiyan.

[KING OF NIGERIA]

It also says no stupid thread/posts, but I see plenty of those.

So one religious thread is worse than all of the spam?

Stupid is subjective, so they stay, but you can't debate the fact that this is a thread about religion.

[Kurono.]

"Why would he test someone to see if they deserved to be in his presence? That's like saying you're going to test your wife to see if she should be able to sleep in the same bed as you."

Why do a lot of people for some reason want to always try to bring christianity down. or make it sound bad.

Because it is bad.


"If gods so good why does he let little children in africa who have done nothing to make him angry die of starvation.?" Someone in school said this.

Well here's my guess cause god is gonna bring them to heaven with him so they can live in a better place with a giant mansion and all the food they can eat. Either he murders the child which I'm sure the parents would hate for there child to go that way. Or let the kid go as peacefully as he can be.

So he's going to let them suffer on earth for their entire life? That doesn't sound like an all loving God to me.


"I'd rather die than go to heaven" comment from that 'Why don't you kill yourself' video.

Really? alot of people have been saying this... If heaven is real and you get to go to heaven wouldn't you wanna want to go? A great house, Every ones beautiful, there is no hate, you can never get fat, have everything you want, never get hurt and much more. most people try to argue with me when I say this to them with the old "what if there is no heaven" well then there's no heaven. But why roll the dice and there is a heaven but because you would rather die then go to heaven you'll end up in burning for eternity.

Really?

If Heaven, and God, for that matter, do exist, I'm already damned to an eternity to Hell. So it doesn't matter anyways.


ok there is a god or there isn't. But you should be setting a good example for christianity. A lot of very successful people where christians. You know why? cause the bible kept there mind and heart in place. Kept them positive, the bible is sort of a guide to success in life. When I have a children I want him to be a good christian boy. I'm not gonna force it on him, but I will tell him that by following this books advice you could be and do anything you want cause it will keep you positive, happy, and virtueous.

Another example of why we should treat christianity good is because of the spritual healing it can give. There have been documented cases of people with cancer and all kind of things who with the help of the bible were able to keep a positive mind cause they knew god would help them be better. And it has work, now don't say "well what about the people who weren't healed?" Well good point. But it says god has a plan for everyone so sooner or later it'll work out, either it's them dieing and ending up in heaven, or that person would be an example of his/her disease or whatever, IDK.
But what I'm saying is that even if you don't believe in god don't try to bring down a religoun that try's to help people and keep them from evil things and helps them meet there goals in life. It just makes me very mad when people do that.

I'm not trying to bring down the Christian beliefs. Not by any standards. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I grew up as a Christian, and at one point in my life, went on a Mission, and was Baptized. However, I soon came to realize that how much hypocrisy was involved with Religion. Not just Christianity. Every religion. As said in the movie, all religion has brought us is war, fighting, and killing, yet they all preach about is peace and love. Yeah. Bull****.

---------- Post added February 7th, 2010 at 01:51 PM ----------


Except your not omniscient.

And your wife makes sammiches.

Lol. Omniscience is a completely absurd idea, and completely contradicts the idea of "free will."

[SoulJack]

Because it is bad.



So he's going to let them suffer on earth for their entire life? That doesn't sound like an all loving God to me.



If Heaven, and God, for that matter, do exist, I'm already damned to an eternity to Hell. So it doesn't matter anyways.



I'm not trying to bring down the Christian beliefs. Not by any standards. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I grew up as a Christian, and at one point in my life, went on a Mission, and was Baptized. However, I soon came to realize that how much hypocrisy was involved with Religion. Not just Christianity. Every religion. As said in the movie, all religion has brought us is war, fighting, and killing, yet they all preach about is peace and love. Yeah. Bull****.

---------- Post added February 7th, 2010 at 01:51 PM ----------



Lol. Omniscience is a completely absurd idea, and completely contradicts the idea of "free will."


"So he's going to let them suffer on earth for their entire life? That doesn't sound like an all loving God to me"

That's why their is a heaven. They suffer, then go to heaven where they have everything they want, sounds good to me.

"I'm not trying to bring down the Christian beliefs. Not by any standards. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I grew up as a Christian, and at one point in my life, went on a Mission, and was Baptized. However, I soon came to realize that how much hypocrisy was involved with Religion. Not just Christianity. Every religion. As said in the movie, all religion has brought us is war, fighting, and killing, yet they all preach about is peace and love. Yeah. Bull****.

That's no reason to start disliking christianity. Just cause they are fighting over religion doesn't mean you have to start fighting too.

A good example of a good christain man is George Washington. He was a great president, Smart man, Helped make this country great. You know why he was able to do all that? the bible kept him in a positive state. he knew the lord was with him and that the lord helped him through his hardships.

Your gonna tell me christianity is bad even though its what helped make this country?

[Eureka -]

Ominscient = All Knowing + All being

Tell me how this contradicts free will?

[Kurono.]

Yes, I am going to tell you that Christianity is bad even though it helped make this country. Have you taken a look outside lately? What's out there in this "christian" country? Murder? Rape? Stealing? Those aren't very Christian qualities, are they?

Next time you bring up that argument, make sure you bring it up to someone who actually cares about the country.

---------- Post added February 7th, 2010 at 02:21 PM ----------


Ominscient = All Knowing + All being

Tell me how this contradicts free will?

I know what omniscient means.

Free will means that we have the choice between what we are able to do, and what decisions we make. If God is all knowing, then he knows the decisions we are going to make, thus annihilating every possibility of "free will" there is.

---------- Post added February 7th, 2010 at 02:22 PM ----------

In otherwords, Lulu, while there is a "God," there is no such thing as free will.

[Eureka -]

-_-

You're argument is like swiss cheese.

[Kurono.]

Then point out the holes. You yourself said that he was all knowing.

[Eureka -]

In a universe that is constantly growing, information is subject to change. Information can include God itself. According to some branches of Christianity (mine included, myself being LDS Mormon), God is only one being of an already existing hierarchy.

The would mean that the information determining our decisions and will is subject to changing without God having control per say, but that he simply knows that the information itself is changing.

[Kurono.]

God, being Omniscient, would know that those changes would occur.

[Eureka -]

Yes but he would not know what these changes would occur TO.

Because of this hierarchy above him, in our eyes he is omniscient, and yet in a way we cannot perceive because we do not possess the capability to understand what he does not.

This is similar to how we can describe the traits of the 4th, 5th, 6th, and so on dimensions, but there is no possible way we can perceive any of them.

[Red]

That's no reason to start disliking christianity. Just cause they are fighting over religion doesn't mean you have to start fighting too.

Oh right, because religion brings so many good things. They're beliefs that are thousands of years old that are holding mankind back, made by primitive men who thought that lightning occurred because god was angry. Are you aware of just how many Mesopotamian religions there are with a messiah born on the 25th who dies and is later revived? Christianity is not unique.


A good example of a good christain man is George Washington. He was a great president, Smart man, Helped make this country great. You know why he was able to do all that? the bible kept him in a positive state. he knew the lord was with him and that the lord helped him through his hardships.

Your gonna tell me christianity is bad even though its what helped make this country?

Okay, I pretty much cracked of laughing after the first sentence. George Washington a Christian? Christian nation? XD

Firstly, George Washington was not a Christian.

Excerpt from a letter to Sir Edward Newenham, June 22nd, 1792
"Religious controversies are always productive of more acrimony and irreconcilable hatreds than those which spring from any other cause. I had hoped that liberal and enlightened thought would have reconciled the Christians so that their religious fights would not endanger the peace of Society."

Washington himself (as quoted by Dr. Abercrombie): I have never been a communicant.

Secondly, this is not a Christian nation. Have you ever heard of the first amendment? How about separation of church and state?

[Kurono.]

Lulu, you clearly don't understand the definition of omniscient. Until you do, please, leave this thread.

[Eureka -]

Shut the hell up Kurono.

I've had enough of all your bull****.

/reqeustthreadlock

[Kurono.]

Ragequit QQ

[Eureka -]

No.

You simply do not understand my point of view. I'm not going to waste the time to explain it.

[Red]

No.

You simply do not understand my point of view. I'm not going to waste the time to explain it.

In other words...

You're going to ragequit.

[Kurono.]

I understand your point of view fine. I'm just saying you don't know the definition of omniscient.

om⋅nis⋅cient

 http://sp.ask.com/dictstatic/g/d/speaker.gif (http://dictionary.reference.com/audio.html/lunaWAV/O00/O0094300) /ɒmˈnɪʃhttp://sp.ask.com/dictstatic/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.pngənt/ http://sp.ask.com/dictstatic/g/d/dictionary_questionbutton_default.gif (http://dictionary.reference.com/help/luna/IPA_pron_key.html) Show Spelled Pronunciation [om-nish-uhhttp://sp.ask.com/dictstatic/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.pngnt] http://sp.ask.com/dictstatic/g/d/dictionary_questionbutton_default.gif (http://dictionary.reference.com/help/luna/Spell_pron_key.html) Show IPA –adjective 1. having complete or unlimited knowledge, awareness, or understanding; perceiving all things.
–noun 2. an omniscient being. 3. the Omniscient, God. (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=God&db=luna)

This means that God would know the past, present, and future. Thus, he would know about the changes that you were mentioning, and what the outcomes of the changes would be.

[Crad]

This is a debate now? I thought it was just a funny scene from a movie.

[Eureka -]

As far as we can percieve.

Key words. We cannot perceive the things hat God does not know, and hence to our knowledge he is inexplicably both omniscient (knowing all things possible of our knowing) and not (because there must be things that he does not know).

[Kurono.]

As far as we can percieve.

Key words. We cannot perceive the things hat God does not know, and hence to our knowledge he is inexplicably both omniscient (knowing all things possible of our knowing) and not (because there must be things that he does not know).

As for as WE can perceive. We =/= God.

Seriously, read the ****ing bible. The bible says that god is the almighty, the Bible says it VERY plainly.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega--the beginning and the end," says the Lord God. "I am the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come--the Almighty One."

Do you know what that means, Lulu? That he knows what has happened, what is happening, and what will happen.

[Red]

As far as we can percieve.

Key words. We cannot perceive the things hat God does not know, and hence to our knowledge he is inexplicably both omniscient (knowing all things possible of our knowing) and not (because there must be things that he does not know).

O.o

If there are things that God doesn't know than you're saying he's not all-knowing.

[SoulJack]

Yes, I am going to tell you that Christianity is bad even though it helped make this country. Have you taken a look outside lately? What's out there in this "christian" country? Murder? Rape? Stealing? Those aren't very Christian qualities, are they?

Next time you bring up that argument, make sure you bring it up to someone who actually cares about the country.

---------- Post added February 7th, 2010 at 02:21 PM ----------



I know what omniscient means.

Free will means that we have the choice between what we are able to do, and what decisions we make. If God is all knowing, then he knows the decisions we are going to make, thus annihilating every possibility of "free will" there is.

---------- Post added February 7th, 2010 at 02:22 PM ----------

In otherwords, Lulu, while there is a "God," there is no such thing as free will.


Umm.. hey dude.. guess what? there would be way worst then murder and rape if this country wasn't founded by the good christain leaders so we could have freedom you turd.

If it wasn't we all be paying taxes on EVERYTHING, there still be slave labor, are leader could do anything he/she would want, women wouldn't have equal rights. and many many more horrible things. But I guess you'd like it better that way.

So maybe think about life woulda been if it wasn't for are good christain leaders giving us freedom you jackass

[Eureka -]

As for as WE can perceive. We =/= God.

Seriously, read the ****ing bible. The bible says that god is the almighty, the Bible says it VERY plainly.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega--the beginning and the end," says the Lord God. "I am the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come--the Almighty One."

Do you know what that means, Lulu? That he knows what has happened, what is happening, and what will happen.

._.

This is now a difference of my religion (Mormonism, which includes more books, including the Doctrine and Covenants, the Pearl of Great Price, and the Book of Mormon.)

In OUR eyes he is the Alpha and the Omega. He is our beginning, and our end. He is the one who is, was, and who is still to come.

The difference is that in MY religion (Latter-Day-Saints Mormonism) there is a passage in the Doctrine and Covenants stating that God was a being under a higher authority.

Listen to my argument or shut up, I've said this 3 times now. God is part of a hierarchy and he IS NOT ON TOP.


This being said, the Bible speaks to US, THE PEOPLE OF THE EARTH, and hence, he is Omniscient, Omnipresent, The Alpha and Omega, and so forth. Because there is no way we can perceive the knowledge of the hierarchy beyond God.

[Kurono.]

Actually, no, that's the first time you've said God is not at the top. Now I just say your religion is more ****ed up than Christianity.

[Eureka -]

It is a form of Christianity.

Now you're not even debating. You're simply saying my religion is stupid.

I don't care if you think it's stupid, I believe it, and so you can kindly gtfo.

Thanks. :3

[Kurono.]

So, I just read up on Latter Day Saints, and I didn't see anywhere that God was under a higher power. Cite your sources, please.

---------- Post added February 7th, 2010 at 03:54 PM ----------


It is a form of Christianity.

Now you're not even debating. You're simply saying my religion is stupid.

I don't care if you think it's stupid, I believe it, and so you can kindly gtfo.

Thanks. :3

Yeah. I'm going to gtfo out of my own thread. Not.

[Eureka -]

The Doctrine and Covenants. Would you like me to find the exact passage?

A Wikipedia page =/= 3000 pages of text.

[Kurono.]

Yes. I want the exact passage.

[Red]

Umm.. hey dude.. guess what? there would be way worst then murder and rape if this country wasn't founded by the good christain leaders so we could have freedom you turd.

Just about all of the founding fathers were not religious.


If it wasn't we all be paying taxes on EVERYTHING, there still be slave laborThe British didn't approve of slavery, which is why the Union appealed to them about the succeeding Southern states using slave labor. Thus Britain stopped trading with the Southern states. Learn to history.

And on the matter of slavery...

God supports slavery
Lev. 25: 44-6.
42 Because the Israelites are my servants, whom I brought out of Egypt, they must not be sold as slaves. 43 Do not rule over them ruthlessly, but fear your God.

44 " 'Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. 45 You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. 46 You can will them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.



[...]are leader could do anything he/she would want, women wouldn't have equal rightsThat's funny, because according to the Bible, women are lesser than men.

Timothy 1:2:11-13
11A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 13For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.


So maybe think about life woulda been if it wasn't for are good christain leaders giving us freedom you jackassFor repeated emphasis, the founding fathers were not Christians.

[Eureka -]

That's too bad isn't it

I'm not going to look through D&C all day to find it. I read it and I believe it.

[Whatah]

Random quote is random.



you should go see it and yopu will see how it fits in with the conversation

guy figured out how to lie

he wants to make his dying mother feel better so he makes up something about how death is not the end

othor people hear about this and demand to know everything about "what happens after you die"

so he spends all night coming up with a list of 10 do's and don'ts that explain "the man in the sky" and "the place you go when you die where everyone gets a mansion and everyone you love is there" and he also explains how if you do 3 or more "really bad things" then you go to "the worst place you can imagine" instead. this list of infos is very important so he tapes them to a pair of pizza hut boxes before showing everyone.

TIME CUT: LATER
Mark puts down his pencil and places both written sheets next
to each other. He has finished.
INT. MARK’S APARTMENT - BEDROOM - NIGHT
Mark opens the door. Jennifer and Greg are on his bed
watching T.V. The same newscaster stands outside the
building.
NEWSCASTER (ON T.V)
In Seoul Korea, they wait. In Rome,
Italy, they wait. In London,
England, they wait. In New York
City, they wait. The world has come
to a standstill, everyone at their
televisions and radios, or here on
this lawn, waiting for Mark
Bellison to come forth and tell the
people what he knows.
Mark waves his manuscript in the air.
MARK
I’m done.
Jennifer and Greg jumps off the bed.
JENNIFER
Are you ready?
MARK
I guess.
INT. MARK’S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
They head towards the door.
79.
MARK
I feel like I should be reading
these off of something other than
just notebook paper. I wish they
were like, written on large tablets
or even just nicer paper or
something.
Greg grabs an empty pizza box off of the counter, rips it
into two pieces and tapes his two pages onto them.
Mark holds the two halves of the pizza boxes awkwardly and
nods his head.
MARK
Feels better.
Mark looks at Jennifer and Greg with fear in his eyes.
JENNIFER
Just tell them what you know
GREG
Good luck out there, man.
EXT. MARK’S APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
OTS of Newscaster cameraman. The newscaster is interviewing a
young man, with Mark’s apartment building in the background.
YOUNG MAN
I heard that he said we all get
mansions, and that there’s even
ponies.
NEWSCASTER
(to cameraman)
Ponies. Mansions. Ice Cream. These
are the things we can all expect
when we die. What else can we
expect? We won’t know until Mark
Bellison steps out of that...
YOUNG MAN
(shouting)
THERE HE IS!
Mark cracks open the front door and steps out onto his front
steps, with Jennifer right behind him. The newscaster and
cameraman run to get into position.
Mark looks out at the sea of people staring silently at him,
waiting for answers.
80.
MARK
Hello.
A man runs up and hands Mark a microphone.
MARK
Oh, thanks.
His voice echoes through the neighborhood.
MARK
Wow.
You could hear a pin drop. No one is even breathing.
MARK
So. I guess you’ve all heard the
things I told my grandmother last
night and... I understand why
you’re here.
(pause)
I know... some things. Some very
important things. And I’m going to
share these things with you now.
Intercut throughout: different video feeds, people listening
to radios, standing in the cold watching TV’s through store
windows -- all around the world.
Mark takes a deep breath and holds up his “pizza box
commandments”.
MARK
Everything you want to know is
written here. On this old pizza
box.
Mark looks out at the crowd, all of them so hopeful, so
needy. Mark looks back at Jennifer and Greg who give him a
proud nod.
MARK
(reading)
Number one: There is a man who
lives in the sky who controls
everything. Number two...
MAN #1
(interrupting; shouting)
Whoa, whoa whoa. What does he look
like?
Mark wasn’t prepared for questions.
81.
MARK
(struggling)
Tall. Big hands. A good head of
hair.
WOMAN #1
What ethnicity is he?
MARK
(making it up as he goes)
He’s a new ethnicity. It’s like a
mix of all of our ethnicities.
MAN #2
Does he live on a cloud?
MAN #3
Can we see him?
MARK
(becoming confident)
No. He lives much higher than the
clouds, too high to see.
WOMAN #2
So he lives in space?
MARK
No, not that high.
MAN #3
So you mean the Thermosphere?
MARK
Look, people I got a lot to get
through here. I’m just telling you
what I know: Man. Lives in the sky.
You can’t see him. Controls
everything. Cool?
Everyone nods.
MARK
Number two: When you die you don’t
disappear into an eternity of
nothingness. Instead, you go to a
really great place.
(pause)
Number three: In that place every
person will get a mansion.
MAN #4
What kind of mansion?
82.
MARK
I don’t know. Whatever kind of
mansion you’re thinking of right
now.
WOMAN #3
Oh no! I wasn’t thinking of a
mansion!
A lot of people echo this sentiment.
MAN #5
****! I was thinking of a horrible
mansion!
MARK
Look, it’s the best mansion you can
think of, not just now, but ever.
Whatever the best mansion for you
can possibly be, that’s the one
you’ll get.
(continuing)
Number four: When you die, all the
people you love will be there too.
MAN #6
Will they have their own mansions?
MARK
Yes, of course. Everyone gets a
mansion.
MAN #6
What if I want them to live in my
mansion?
MARK
If they want to live with you, they
can leave their mansion and live in
yours.
MAN #6
What happens to their mansion?
MARK
I don’t know, it goes back on the
market.
WOMAN #4
What about the people I hate? Will
they be there too?
MARK
No.
83.
WOMAN #4
Where are they?
MARK
Okay, they’re probably there, but
you’ll never see them. They’re far
off, too far for you to get there.
WOMAN #4
But what if they try to find me?
MARK
They won’t. They hate you too.
WOMAN #4
But what if they don’t? What if
they love me but I hate them?
MARK
Well then you’re just... you’ll
both be fine with it. There’s only
love there, okay?
(continuing)
Number five: When you die there
will be free ice cream. All day.
All night. Whatever flavor you can
think of.
WOMAN #5
What, even bad flavors?
MARK
But why would you eat bad flavors?
WOMAN #5
Well, you just said every flavor I
can think of.
MAN #8
Oh no, I just thought about vanilla
and skunks!
MARK
Well don’t eat it then!
WOMAN #6
I’ve just thought the chocolate
sauce is diarrhea!
MARK
Well don’t put it on then! What’s
wrong with you people? I mean...
(continuing)
84.
(MORE)
Number six: If you do bad things
you won’t get to go to this great
place when you die.
MAN #9
Where will you go?
MARK
A terrible place. The worst place
imaginable.
A rumble of terror moves through the crowd.
WOMAN #7
What constitutes a bad thing?
MARK
Murder. Crime. Rape. Things like
that.
WOMAN #7
You have to tell us all the things
or else we might do them and it
wouldn’t be our fault!
The whole crowd echoes this sentiment.
MARK
Fine.
MAN #9
Is punching someone bad?
MARK
Yes.
MAN #9
What if they’re trying to hurt you?
MARK
Then it’s fine.
WOMAN #7
Is cursing bad?
MARK
No.
WOMAN #1
What about being late for work?
85.
MARK (cont'd)
MARK
That’s fine too. I mean, you might
lose your job if your boss doesn’t
like it, but it won’t effect what
happens after you die.
WOMAN #2
What about if you forget to feed
your dog?
MARK
That also is fine. Unless the dog
dies. Then it’s bad.
MAN #1
If you do just one bad thing do you
go to the bad place?
MARK
No. You get...
(thinking about it)
... three chances. If you do three
bad things you’re out.
MAN #1
Like baseball!
MARK
Kind of, yes.
There’s a hubbub throughout the crowd: “It’s like baseball”,
“I love baseball” “I’m scared of the bad place”.
MARK
Any more?
About fifty people stand up and ask their questions at the
same time.
MARK
Look, can we just move on?
MAN #2
No! We have to know everything
that’s bad!
MARK
Fine. Let’s start with you...
(pointing)
MAN #3
Is it bad to wear pants?
86.
Mark sighs.
DISSOLVE TO:
INSERT: “SIX HOURS LATER”
MARK
No. There’s no hairstyle that will
put you in the bad place. Like I’ve
told you, the main things are
hurting people physically on
purpose, taking people’s stuff,
doing things to people they don’t
want done, killing people on
purpose. Okay? Are we good?
The crowd nods apprehensively. Many of the people in the
crowd are crying.
One of the crying men, shaking like a leaf, stands up, with
terror in his eyes.
CRYING MAN
(shameful)
I’ve done many of those bad things.
Is there anything I can do to not
go to the bad place? Help me, I’m
so scared.
MARK
Well, you didn’t know about these
bad things until I told you just
now so you’re fine.
MAN #8
(crying)
Am I fine?
WOMAN #5
(crying)
What about me?
Tons of people shout similar sentiments.
MARK
You’re all fine! I’m only talking
about people who do bad things
starting right now. Everyone else
is fine.
The crowd erupts in a massive cheer. People hug each other
passionately, wiping tears from their eyes.
87.
MARK
(reading)
Number seven: The man in the sky
who controls everything decides if
you go to the good place or the bad
place. He also decides who lives
and who dies.
MAN #4
Does he cause natural disasters?
MARK
Yes.
WOMAN #3
Did he cause my mom to get cancer?
MARK
Yes.
WOMAN #4
Did he cause that tree to land on
my car last week?
MARK
Yes.
The crowd is quiet for a long beat....they’re mulling this
over. The first man to speak is a blue collar guy with a
thick Brooklyn accent.
BLUE COLLAR GUY
I say **** the guy that lives in
the sky!
The whole crowd erupts in agreement. People stand up
shouting, flicking off the sky.
MAN #5
Yeah! That guy’s a ****ing *******!
WOMAN #5
That mother****er better hope I
never see him face to face!
MAN #6
That guy’s a ****ing coward! Hiding
up there and doing bad **** to us!
Why doesn’t he do it to our faces?
WOMAN #6
We need to stop that mother****er
before he kills us all!
88.
Mark looks worried. He didn’t anticipate this. Suddenly a
thought occurs to him.
MARK
(shouting)
WAIT!
Everyone quiets down.
MARK
This guy who lives in the sky and
controls everything is also
responsible for all the good stuff
that happens.
The whole crowd “aaaahhs”.
MAN #7
He’s the guy who saved my life on
that fishing trip when the boat
capsized?
MARK
Yup.
MAN #7
Did he capsize the boat?
MARK
Well, yes.
WOMAN #7
He’s the one who killed my
grandmother and left me those
millions of dollars?
MARK
You betcha.
WOMAN #3
So is he the same one who cured my
mom’s cancer?
MARK
That too.
The crowd thinks this over.
MAN #8
So he’s kind of a good guy, but
he’s also kind of a prick too?
89.
MARK
Right. But check this out:
(continuing)
Number eight: Even if the man in
the sky does bad **** to you, he
makes it up to you by giving you an
eternity of good stuff after you
die.
The crowd “aaahhs” again.
WOMAN #1
As long as you don’t do any of the
bad stuff you listed, right?
MARK
Right. Of course.
WOMAN #2
So it’s kind of a test?
MARK
Yes. Right.
(pause)
Well, that’s it. That’s everything
I know.
Mark looks out at the crowd, they’re all exhausted, their
minds completely blown. The Nurse who started this all steps
forward.
NURSE #1
How do you know these things?
MARK
(thinking)
The man in the clouds told me.
NURSE #1
Yeah, but how come we’re just
learning these things now, millions
of years into our existence?
MARK
I don’t know, he forgot or
something. I gotta go people, good
night!

funny stuff

[Kurono.]

Whatah, I love you. You gonna be there for when I stream Religulous? Strats in 40 minutes.

---------- Post added February 7th, 2010 at 04:30 PM ----------

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100207130554AAgN0SP

[Whatah]

also, this started out as a vent thread, and cant just be moved to the debate forum because the thread did not start as a structured debate, so we need to either move it back to the vent or lock it...

[Eureka -]

Vent says no religion so lock.

[Kurono.]

It also says no spam.

Lulu is just ragequiting, Whatah. It can be in the vent, idc.

[Red]

VK suggests a new topic be made and the appropriate posts moved.

[Eureka -]

^ Sounds good.



If I was ragequitting I'd be gone. I'm not.

[Kurono.]

Why did you lie about your religion?

[Eureka -]

... I didn't.

Though I was wrong, the exact words I was looking for are not in D&C, they are in fact in the Ensign magazine from 1982, but the article is a reference to several points. The revelation I was specifically speaking of was from one of the Quorom of the Twelve Apostles under our prophet Joseph Smith. The apostles name is Lorenzo Snow.

[Kurono.]

You were wrong yet you were so certain you were right. Lol. Funny. With something like multiple gods, or one being mightier than THE God, you'd think it'd be common knowledge among people in your religion.

[SoulJack]

Well... if god is real, and so is heaven and hell. Most of y'all are SCREWED.

Burning forever in a pit of fire with no way out. screaming and crying asking god to forgive you but he won't.

Like I said before. Why roll the dice. If there is a heaven, Then I'll live happly in my mansion. If there is a hell. Bless the poor souls who were foolish.

One of the most deadliest sins is mocking God. There is no forgiveness for that.

[Kurono.]

But what if you're wrong? Then you spent your whole life believing in something that isn't real.

[Whatah]

not to mention that the situation where a critical mass of the population believes in the space daddy and his zombie baby causes the overall retardation of the human race.

i mean really.

lets assume you are a christian and you believe in god, the divinity of jesus, and a good bit of the other stuff from the bible.

then lets have you look at the outlandish fairy tales that exist in other religions.

do you believe that an angel came to joseph smith and assisted him in writing the book of morman that chronicles how jesus came to live with the native americans? no you dont because it is obviously BS

do you believe that allah made humans and every living being from water? of course you dont.

do you believe in the cycle of suffering and rebirth that buddists belive in? no of course you dont because you believe in heaven and hell...

here i will simplify it for you.

there are many major religions and each claim that a unique set of magical events happened. they cannot all be right. each major religion believes the others are complete hogwash fantasy. the derivative of this is obvious for anyone will tl let themselves think logically.

[Eureka -]

You were wrong yet you were so certain you were right. Lol. Funny. With something like multiple gods, or one being mightier than THE God, you'd think it'd be common knowledge among people in your religion.
It's a teaching.

I imagine we don't bother to 'broadcast' it so to speak because it doesn't matter too much, because in either case our lives both begin and end with our Heavenly Father.

The famous saying is "As man is, God once was. As God is, man may become."

That is the teaching and direct quote/revalation from Lorenzo Snow. This is simply saying that OUR God proved himself worthy (presumably to said higher order) and was able to become a 'Creator'.

[Kurono.]

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh...

Everything I've heard about Mormons is right. They ARE crazy.